“…because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding.” — Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

There are countless names for different types of women. Whether you’re an it girl, pick me, gym girl, or hot girl, you no doubt have been placed in some sort of category. The one category that has been placed on a pedestal and admired from afar by all women alike is the “cool girl.”

The cool girl is someone who is effortlessly perfect. Her eyelashes are dark and naturally curled, her hair is silky and never knots, her skin is always clear. She can roll out of bed and still manage to look like a model. She doesn’t care too much about anything, and she doesn’t chase men. Maybe she wears leopard print, or maybe she’s understated, but either way no one’s ever in doubt of her impeccable taste.

So where did the obsession with the cool girl come from?

Although the term has been around for years, it became impossible to ignore after Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl. Amy Dunne’s famous “Cool Girl” monologue perfectly described the impossible standard women are expected to live up to: be beautiful without trying, eat burgers without gaining weight, never complain, never ask for too much, and always be whatever the man in front of you wants. The monologue wasn’t celebrating the cool girl, it was criticizing the pressure to become her.

Fast forward to today, and the cool girl has taken on a life of her own. Scroll through Pinterest or Instagram and you’ll find mood boards dedicated to becoming her. There are tutorials on how to dress like her, playlists inspired by her, and entire aesthetics built around the idea. Think Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy’s effortless minimalism, Kate Moss’s 1990s model-off-duty style, or the mysterious, cigarette-in-hand heroines that dominate Tumblr edits. Somehow, the cool girl has become less of a person and more of a lifestyle.

But here’s the irony: if everyone is trying to be effortlessly cool, is anyone actually effortless anymore?

The cool girl is appealing because she seems free from the expectations placed on everyone else. She doesn’t overthink every text message or spend hours planning an outfit—at least that’s what we’re led to believe. In reality, achieving “effortless” often takes an incredible amount of effort. The perfect capsule wardrobe, the natural makeup look, the messy bun that somehow falls perfectly. In reality, none of it is quite as accidental as it appears.

That’s not to say the cool girl is entirely fictional. Plenty of women genuinely have a personal style, confidence, and interests that make them magnetic. The problem begins when the aesthetic becomes another impossible standard to achieve. Instead of embracing individuality, people begin chasing an image that’s carefully crafted online.

At the end of the day, the cool girl isn’t really one specific person. She’s an idea, and one that changes with every generation. Maybe in the 1990s she wore leather jackets and listened to alternative rock. In the early 2000s she worked at a fashion magazine. Today she might carry a digital camera, read literary fiction, and post blurry photos on Instagram. The details change, but the fantasy stays the same.

Maybe that’s why we’re so fascinated by her. The cool girl isn’t just someone we admire; she represents the version of ourselves we think everyone else has already become.